Thursday, August 28, 2008

Handful of Hopes

Jacob filled out one of those forwards that kids send around to each other asking trivial questions like what's your favoirte color, who were you named after... that kind of stuff. One of the questions was "Where were you born?" He said, "My body was born in Nampa, Idaho, but my heart was born in the snow-covered hills of Alaska."

Handful of Hopes

I have the day off today
Sitting in the barracks, I rest
Till I am called out again
To fight this war and give my best.

My make-shift home, a tent
Where I live, sweat, wake and sleep.
Plywood floor, wind blows hot,
Lonely hour, then day turns into week.

I sit outside the tent door flap
And sift the sand with my hand.
I pick it up and let it fall
Imagining I am home again.

The sand becomes a snowfall
That I saw there just last year.
Riding snowmachines in the hills,
Who ever imagined that now I'd be here?

I let myself go back there for a ride.
In my mind's eye I see the snow
Clinging to the exact leafless shape
Of every other tree along the road.

The rest are evergreens, holding piles
Of snow like a Christmas card scene.
Those memories and hopes to return
Are the contents of my each and every dream.

The dry, brisk cold of the air
Invigorates my skin and burns my eyes.
I plow thorough deep drifts of snow
Riding on trails that I have memorized.

The beauty of the landscape grips me.
The temperature, now minus 10, no breeze
Looks like someone carelessly cast diamonds
On the ground and in the trees.

Dashing back to the winter cabin,
My brothers and I, we race.
We head inside, take off our gear,
See the smile on my mom's face."

Hey guys, d'ya see moose along the trail?
Was it cold? How was the ride? "
Putting aside her book she asks,
"Who's up for hot chocolate, soup or pumpkin pie?"

The whistle of mortars brings me back.
Dashing to protect from shrapnel rain,
Instinct kicks in - I drop my handful of sand
And I become an American soldier again.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Yesterday, I Was a Child

Yesterday, I Was a Child

Yesterday, I was a child
But it's my first day of Jr. High.
Lockers, boys... and I look different.
Will they make fun of me as I walk by?

I'm scared to do this alone.
Won't you please hold my hand?
Into this place,
Afraid to show my face.
Go with me, Go with me.

Yesterday, I was a child.
Next month I'm having one of my own.
Diapers, bills, him looking up to me
Will I be strong enough or let him down?

I'm scared to do this alone.
Won't you please hold my hand?
Doing what I should.
Go with me, go with me.

Yesterday, I was a child.
Today I will watch my aging mother die.
The pain of the process weathers my face.
Will I ever get over the loss of her in my life?

I'm scared to do this alone.
Won't you please hold my hand?
Of her praying on her knees.
Go with me, go with me.

Yesterday, I was a child,
I think as I close the door,
Leaving behind 25 years of marriage
And a man who doesn't love me anymore

I'm scared to do this alone.
Won't you please hold my hand?
Abuse and rage;
Time to turn the page.
Go with me, go with me.

Yesterday, I was a child,
"And that's ok," to myself I say.
This moment is a gift God's given me.
What will I do with this precious day?

I won't be doing this alone
Because He always holds my hand.
Love so dear,
He's always near,
Go with me, go with me.

Let all this maturity count for something,at least.
Don't let the pain be in vain.
Use it, Dear God, to help a hurting soul
Letting the hope of yesterday's child remain.

Sunday, March 09, 2008


UN-WANTED it said
Proudly displaying the head
Of the woman in town
Who'd been more than around.

UN-WANTED, the display
Portrayed her in the worst way.
Before she came clean
And began chasing worthy dreams.

UN-WANTED it called
To passers-by who stalled
To glance at the thing nailed
Displaying the dame frail.

UN-WANTED, indeed.
Folks so tired of her need.
Tired of her shame
Having to utter her name.

UN-WANTED she knew,
Yet not sure why it was true.
Feeling hate in every glance,
Grimacing at the force-kind dance.

UN-WANTED, how she tried,
Though, in this town, she can't hide.
Found to her dismay in this place
There was no thing of grace.

UN-WANTED, no promises to keep,
She walked to the highest peak,
Filling the hopes of all in town,
She would soon no longer be around.

UN-WANTED, eager for peace,
Begged God for forgiveness, at least,
"Pray something wants me," she finished in a hush,
"Down at the bottom lying in dust."

UN-WANTED she thought
But then embrace of Peace He brought
As He taught her of His love and care,
Of His grace despite opinions around there.

UN-WANTED no more
After a season of healing for sure
She searched sweet faces of the haunted
For the curse of the UN-WANTED.

“You are NOW WANTED,” she announced
To all the hurting girls in other towns.
“Like He freed me, He'll free you too.
Now come to Him to be renewed.”

UN-WANTED parchment hung on tree -
Now there for month three.
Someone asked about her one day.
"Think she left a fortnight ago," one did say.